A month ago, I was at the eye doctor receiving my normal, routine checkup. My optometrist, who is also a good friend, informed me that my vision had decreased to 20/30 vision since my last checkup. He also had shown me a cluster of micro cysts, little pockets of inflammation, all throughout my left eye ball.
My friend honestly told me, "Kelsey, this isn't normal for a healthy woman in her 30s. If this doesn't improve in the next 30 days, we're going to have to order an MRI test." He instructed me to limit my contact lens use and sent me on my way.
Well, naturally, as a healer, I wanted to do everything in my power to ensure that the micro cysts were gone by the time I went to my next appointment. I took matters into my own hands. Of course, I did listen to the doctor and drastically limited the amount of time my contacts were in, but I also decided to connect with the micro cysts themselves and figure out how to help them heal.
Journey to the Cysts
One of my mentors, Jenny, suggested that I journey directly to the cysts and ask them what they needed to be released from my body. As I closed my eyes one afternoon, I saw a miniature version of myself standing in my own eyeball face-to-face with the cysts. I intuitively began to hold my hands over the cysts and watched as golden light began pouring from my hands and into the space. In this moment, I had nothing but love and gratitude for my eyes. They were showing me something that I hadn't previously been able to see.
As I made connection with the cysts, I began to ask them what they needed to move out of my form. They showed me a red, flaming, fiery Sun. To me, fire and the Sun are symbols of the Ancestors. I was being shown that the female Ancestors in my bloodline were needing me to heal from something. I've learned over the years that when we heal ourselves, our entire bloodline heals.
But, that wasn't all! The cysts showed me that my Soul also had a line of ancient Ancestors standing behind me, that were wanting to connect with me and pass on wisdom. These Ancestors were different from my physical bloodline Ancestors. They were very old, wise Ancestors that had been guiding my Soul throughout many lifetimes. Again, they all appeared female, which was no surprise to me, considering all of my eye troubles were on my left side - the side of the body that represents the feminine, receptive side.
I asked the cysts, "If I do this work with these Ancestors, will you leave my form? Will you restore my vision?" The cysts replied in unison, "Yes. Once the work is complete, all of us will leave." They thanked me for loving them and for showing them compassion. They said, "We just wanted you to SEE that there's work to be done. We needed to get your attention." I blessed the cysts and thanked them.
My Encounter with the Bloodline Ancestors
A few days later I asked to be shown my female line of Ancestors. I was taken into a cave and watched as seven figures walked in. When I've worked with the Ancestors before, I've also seen the number seven. Some ancient teachings have believed that what we do in this lifetime has a direct affect on the seven generations before us and the seven generations after us.
As my Ancestors walked in, they formed a circle around a fire in the middle of the cave. They each wore a hooded cloak and were completely covered. Their light was dimmed by these long, black cloaks and their energy felt very diminished; weighed down by the darkness of their cloaks.
As I began to connect to them, they showed me images of the religious trauma, persecution and suppression that they had faced in their lives. For many of them, they never had felt it was safe to be seen and heard in this world. They were still carrying burdens, fear, shame and doubt and they showed me the ways in which these unhealed inhibitions were passed on to me and my own daughter.
Some of my recent Ancestors had been taught that it was sinful to speak their truth. They were taught to give their power away to a male authority and other religious figures. They were taught that God was somehow outside and above them, making them feel small and insignificant. Generation after generation, they were showing me that they had been stripped of their power and taught to give it over to the men, the priests, and the patriarchy. If they had any connection to their own Divine inner power, they were taught to suppress it.
As I addressed my grandmothers, I said, "The time has come for all of this to end. I cannot properly do what I came here to do in this lifetime with all of these burdens and outdated beliefs weighing me down. I will not carry them anymore." I asked each of them to release their burdens, not only for themselves, but for me, my daughter and future generations. "Will you do that for us?", I lovingly asked.
Slowly and surely, I watched as each one of my Ancestors began to remove their cloaks and release them into the fire. As I watched this, a magnificent light began to radiate from each of their heart centers, filling the room up with exquisite colors and an empowering energy.
I looked down at myself, and realized that, I too, was wearing a cloak. All seven of the women gathered around me and each of them placed a hand on my cloak. They helped pull it off of me and placed it in the fire. Together, we celebrated our newfound freedom. Together, we were birthing something new.
My Return to the Bloodline Ancestors
A week or so had passed, and I had the sense that this particular work with the Ancestors wasn't completely done, so I decided to return to the cave where I had previously met with them. As I walk into the cave again, I observed one of my family members curled up in a corner, still cloaked and diminished. Myself and the others stood around her in support. I watched as all of my grandmothers extended their hands over my relative and began to bless her. There was a stream of golden light pouring out of their hands and filling her up. It's similar to what I see happen in my own Shamanic healing sessions with clients. I silently wondered if I had received this ability from them.
I realized, however, that I was not contributing to the healing. I tried to open my hands and pour light into the family member, but I could not do it. Usually, this is very easy for me to do, even in my normal, everyday reality. Accessing this Golden Light has become somewhat of a normal activity for me. The others were holding this magnificent stream of healing light, but in this particular moment I couldn't seem to do it.
A little bit perplexed, I asked one of my Spirit Guides, who is a powerful Healer and Teacher, to assist me. He told me, "Kelsey, there's a part of this family member that you refuse to embrace as your own. You think that you are different from her. You are not. You are the same."
My Guide continued to talk to me about limiting beliefs and how I still carry so many of them that keep me small and diminished, just like my relative hovering in the corner. My Guide asked me, "When will you transcend your limiting beliefs? The time is upon us. The time is now. You can no longer be the scared little girl in the corner, not wanting to participate. Not wanting to change. You have all of the power in the world to create something new and different. Until you transcend your own limiting beliefs, we cannot completely heal this bloodline."
At that moment, I had a feeling of being weighed down by chains around my wrists and ankles. I held them up and said that I was ready to release the self-limiting beliefs that have kept me weighed down; that have kept us all weighed down. With this, I saw the chains break free and dissolve right before my eyes.
I find it interesting that I didn't see the chains at first. It was similar to the first vision when I didn't realize I was wearing a cloak. This is what healing does. It shines the light of awareness upon the deepest, darkest layers of our being so that we can acknowledge them, integrate them, and ultimately heal them.
I walked back over to the rest of my Ancestors and held my hands over the family member, who was still huddled up on the floor in the fetal position. A stream of light began to pour out of my palms and I watched as my relative finally had enough energy to stand up. We all moved to form a circle of what felt like strong, empowered women.
What I remember so vividly was how different they had become from when I saw them last. Previously, I sensed them to be diminished women, who felt dominated, manipulated, controlled and weighed down. Today, we were standing as one, huge, powerful beacon of light. Here we became a group of women standing in our own personal power, ready to confidently write a new story. The new story is one of strength, healing, courage and love. It's vastly different than the stories this bloodline has written in previous generations. I felt a deep sense of pride for my grandmothers rise throughout me.
My Connection to the Soul Ancestors
Now, there was one final piece of the healing that needed to be completed. Days later as I sat in meditation, I was taken to a faraway land with many, tall mountains. As I entered one of the mountains, I was greeted by many of my Soul's Ancestors. These are different then the Ancestors of my bloodline. These Ancestors are very, very ancient and wise and have been guiding my Soul for many lifetimes. They looked to be of many races and of many different time frames throughout history.
One of them approached me and said, "You have great power standing behind you. You have great wisdom standing behind you." However, I got the sense that they no longer wanted to simply be bystanders. It was time that I became aware of them, and integrated them into my life. It was as if they were waiting for my permission to take on more of an active participant role.
As I agreed to and welcomed their unconditional guidance and support, I began to grow very tall. I grew so tall, that I grew out of the top of the mountain. I was double the size of the mountain!
As I worked to integrate these aspects into my being, they said, "You have the power of a thousand Ancestors. It is within you. You have the Soul Medicine of a thousand Ancestors within you. Don't you see? Don't forget how powerful you are. Don't forget the strength of a mountain that is within you. Don't forget this strength and wisdom that is within you." Before I left, I promised them I would do a better job of calling on their power.
Our Ancestors view us as great and powerful beings. After all, we are the ones with the physical body. We are the ones with the unique opportunity to offer our own, personal medicine to the Earth and to Humanity throughout this lifetime. What happens when we don't see ourselves in this way? Well, for starters, we're unable to carry out our Soul's purpose. If only we could all see ourselves the way that the Ancestors see us; we'd be filled with courage, confidence, strength and passion. Nothing could stop us.
Vision Restored
Earlier this week, I went back to the eye doctor. Would you be surprised if I told you that after only four weeks my friend could not find a trace of illness in my eye? Not even one cyst could be found, where there had previously been dozens! And, naturally, my vision was back to 20/20.
There's a lot to unpack here in this story. But mostly, I attribute the manifestation of the illness in my eye as unhealed wounds that I inherited from my Ancestors. The theme throughout all of this was that I wasn't standing in my own power. In many ways, I had allowed fear, doubt and uncertainty to be the ruling force in my life, just like so many that had come before me. A common theme in my personal life has been giving my power away to others and circumstances outside of myself.
Perhaps, the biggest mistake we ever made was pursuing a God outside of ourselves, when the true Savior was always directly within us.
The message that I received throughout all of this was loud and clear: The time for us to play the victim is over. The time for us to play the small, helpless child is over. The time for us to hand our power over to anyone other than ourselves is over.
Spirit does not see us as small, helpless victims. Spirit sees us like these great, confident mountains that can literally create and manifest anything we desire. Now, more than ever, we need to see how powerful we really are. And, when we fail to see it, we better believe that our Ancestors will find a way to remind each of us.
With Love,
Kelsey
